Monday Morning Podcast 12-7-20

  • күнү жарыяланды 2 ай мурун

    Bill Burr

    узактыгы: 1:02:50

    Bill rambles about learning French, Texas, and bad neighbors from around the world.
    Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
    Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
    Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2
    Here’s the website! billburr.com
    I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.
    I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.

buggiebuild1
buggiebuild1

See Bill ,you can teach an old dog new tricks, LOL, well you taught yourself ,still can’t do it and I’m 48, from Florida b safe all✌🏻😷

6 күн мурун
ThePsychoReturns
ThePsychoReturns

'Ol Billy Brokeback, keeping up with the gay cinema

2 ай мурун
ikillbil
ikillbil

Bonjour bill, je t'ai découvert via the mandalorian et j'ai regardé tes spectacles sur netflix, ils sont très drôle !

2 ай мурун
Marv
Marv

Bill knows Hackysack 😂

2 ай мурун
Trip Duece
Trip Duece

You realize Austin is the most liberal part of the state don’t you

2 ай мурун
PHANTOM ALUCARD
PHANTOM ALUCARD

Ol Billy Bi-focal...it's LUF-TANZA!!! But lufsana will work I suppose...much love and bitterness from Lost Wages

2 ай мурун
Miguel
Miguel

Alex Morgan does a Cup of tea celebration after scoring vs england which was pretty talked about

2 ай мурун
Gunkanjima
Gunkanjima

For being such a brash, no fucks giving guy - Ol Billy Red Balls is sure scared of Covid

2 ай мурун
Devin McGovern
Devin McGovern

And sorry for the off-topic subject I didn't know how to get ahold of you or how to do any of that I'm not very technologically smart my buddy pointed it out that you're on YouTube I spent a week watching and listening to a lot of your stuff you're fucking hysterical by the way my buddy called me on his way to work this morning and had me tell the story to his boss so I said fuck it I broke down and went on YouTube found your most recent video watch the whole thing respectively by the way and told you both the story now it's off my chest hopefully I don't have to think about it anymore

2 ай мурун
Devin McGovern
Devin McGovern

Bill Burr how's it going fellow masshole here from your favorite state taxeschusetts 2020 has been one fucking hell of a year we can sit here and talk all day about the crappy shit is going on this year but there's one particular incident that my buddy has been picking at me about to come on here and talk to you about it my wife my friends they all think it's the funniest story in the world where I don't think it's funny and truth be told I'm still weirded out by the whole thing I live in Worcester right now and I don't know if you know the area but there's a lot of homeless people an addicts that live on the streets but here goes anyway during the summer on Saturday afternoon around lunchtime my wife at asked me to go to Walmart and pick up a few things I go to Walmart do my shopping now Walmart in Worcester has a little road at the back of the parking lot in which I use all the time because it points me in the right direction to go home anyways at the end of that little road there's street fights when you reach these street lights off to your left 15 yards is a set of railroad tracks and another set of Lights the stop signs the whole bit well at the end of this little road all the time is normally one or two panhandlers this time when I came rolling up on the light I was smoking a cigarette I had my window down big mistake on my behalf but I'll get to that there's two people a man and a woman the man is a very short man very drunk I's sitting on a cooler the woman is up walking around talking to herself now when I had stopped at the light she had stopped and looked over at me and approached my window because she was so close I did not have time to roll up my window she asked me for a cigarette I replied that I do not have one to spare politely she makes a face and turns and looks at the guy sitting on the cooler nothing is said for a moment and then he goes right into yelling at her on why he has to be down there she's not making any money blah blah blah blah blah so a pimp and his hoe who the fuck am I to judge right light turns green for me I go to press on the gas she runs over to my car real quick sticks her head in the window and screams in my face you're just going to leave me here he fucking beats me at this moment I jack on the brakes and fear of running her over because I'm making a left turn second mistake on my behalf as I jack on the brakes and alcoholic beverage explodes in the corner window of my vehicle covering me the dashboard steering wheel my seat within that same fucking millisecond this bitch Jack's me in the face three times jumps halfway into my window and starts punching me scratching me in a quick thought of Rage I grab this bitch by the back of her head I smash her face off my knee several times and the steering wheel I punch her in the mouth and push her out the window she tries to come back in the vehicle so I opened up the door she tries to push it closed I forced it back open I got out of the vehicle and at this point I'm staring at a four foot eleven cracked out Raging Bull and she started doing those ramp herself up screams where they get louder and louder every time she started screaming in all the confusion I try to look around for a second to get my bearings I realized my vehicle has moved from the start of the intersection all the way across the railroad tracks into the other intersection and my vehicle was pushed up against a curb I have fist fight this bitch for 30 yards in my car within that second of me realizing what's going on she had put her fists up holyshit I'm about ready to fight this bitch and she started charging me so I was like Hells no I am not letting this bitch get the better of me now let me tell you I am 6 foot 4 and 260 pounds and it felt like I was fighting someone my same weight class we were hitting each other she caught me in the head a couple of times the chaste I just kept trying to aim for her face just to get her to stop but every time I get close man is little bitch would step out of the fucking way of every Haymaker I threw at her and then finally one of my punches landed right on her throat she made this horrible noise that I can never recreate finally she stopped fighting and backs off and then I can hear this dude that was sitting on the cooler across the street popping off at his mouth so in my brain I said fuck it I'm a fight this mother fucker to so I start walking towards him totally not knowing that my car is still in Drive pushed up against a curb the guy takes about 10 steps toward me and then turns and runs down the railroad tracks I really wanted to kick his fucking ass cuz come to find out he was the one that threw the alcoholic beverage at my vehicle not once but apparently twice so I turned to start walking back to my vehicle and then this Karen bitch in a white Mercedes convertible rolling up with her camera phone on screaming in my face how she got everything on video and I'm going to jail for assault and then I look over at the the crackhead that I just fist fight and realize she's bleeding from her eyebrow bleeding from her lip and laughing hysterically at me so I walked over to my vehicle jumped in my vehicle and took off haven't found the video online haven't heard anything from the police department and the only thing I can't get out of my head is what she said to me before she punched me in the face in her words not mine you're just going to leave me here he fucking beats me well holy fucking shit woman your 4 foot 11 he's the same size as you I'm six foot four you just fought me and survived holyfuck if she can fight me why couldn't she fight him I mean clearly he's a pussy and he runs off I guess she really wanted a fucking cigarette huh welcome to Worcester a dollar 25 please hey guys by the way I know I probably screwed some of my spelling up I'm dyslexic and not that great at spelling but a few of my friends have not shut up about me coming on here and saying something can someone please help me find the funny in this situation cuz my wife and my friend peed themselves laughing

2 ай мурун
ant marc722
ant marc722

It breaks my heart as much of a bad ass bill is and makes fun of whiny bitch liberal types he’s afraid of covid. 99 percent survival rate ppl come on. It’s real it can make ya fill like shit but fuck man. Shits ridiculous

2 ай мурун
samuel simard
samuel simard

You should try Motel internet

2 ай мурун
Ja Arc
Ja Arc

Have they figured out how to disposed of the Tesla vehicle batteries? Really asking for a friend.

2 ай мурун
guidonyk
guidonyk

Poor pizza😭

2 ай мурун
niahma
niahma

Fucking 100 days in duolingo thats mad

2 ай мурун
Fat Munch
Fat Munch

Maybe ole billy could upload his jre episode on you tube so we could roast his bald dome in the comments

2 ай мурун
Tara McGhee
Tara McGhee

Really enjoyed listening to you while you watched football. Thanks.

2 ай мурун
Leomcnidas S
Leomcnidas S

Us Texas peeps are pretty wild can't lie about that. I love your descriptions lol.

2 ай мурун
rainy day
rainy day

If anyone struggling with cigarette addiction then he/she should definitely read Allen Carr's Book It is not like any other book u have read. Just read it. Quitting isnt hard like we all think it is.

2 ай мурун
PsychoPat
PsychoPat

Écoute des trucs en Québécois tu vas apprendre plus vite.

2 ай мурун
Jeff Doe
Jeff Doe

If the vaccine kills you, did you die of the covid or the vaccine?

2 ай мурун
DarkLinkAD
DarkLinkAD

If its concidered a vaccine, you can never prove that it killed you.. Not legally anyway, youll need to contact the vaccine court for a small settlement outside court.

2 ай мурун
Derek Hernandez
Derek Hernandez

It was Patrice bday 12/7/20. Billy u forgot

2 ай мурун
When There Were Wonders
When There Were Wonders

just gotta say your acting in the other days mandalorian episode blew me away, that one scene, i felt that

2 ай мурун
CJ French
CJ French

"I dont drink anymore, I don't watch porn, I GOT NOTHIN" I felt that on a spiritual level 😭😂😂

2 ай мурун
Denis M.
Denis M.

hi from Ukraine - you were so great in the 7th episode of the Mandalorian season 2, now you are considered one of the most beloved characters of the Star Wars universe

2 ай мурун
Vernon Matthews
Vernon Matthews

G.O.A.T

2 ай мурун
lucky 13
lucky 13

bruh this podcast is becoming more liberal each episode.

2 ай мурун
DarkLinkAD
DarkLinkAD

His wife is crazy people liberal, its only natural that he asborbs some of it.

2 ай мурун
tecums3h
tecums3h

Fuck you Bill Burr! Star Wars got the hooks in you real good. You got a good thing going with your character and I hope they keep using you. I fucking love you man. Wicked fucking love you hey.

2 ай мурун
OptimusRhymz 222
OptimusRhymz 222

Because you can't act your way out of a paper sack.. I'm being a dick..no mind me .

2 ай мурун
OptimusRhymz 222
OptimusRhymz 222

Stick to podcasts and comedy.

2 ай мурун
TOmsk2uMr
TOmsk2uMr

Soo good in Mando. I was telling my Missus you sing the "Me undies" song. 2020 is a dumpster fire. Thank you for attempting to put it out, freckles!

2 ай мурун
dizispell
dizispell

Next Turkey you make, try spatchcock. I’m telling you, it’s the best, most juicy turkey I’ve ever had, and a 13-15 lb turkey cooks in 90 minutes. Easy af. Love you too much 😘😘

2 ай мурун
gatesneko
gatesneko

The movie he’s talking about it named Nowhere

2 ай мурун
Matt Drago
Matt Drago

You were fantastic in Mandalorian Chapter 15 Mr Burr. Brilliant performance brother 💪🏻💪🏻

2 ай мурун
Andrew Kuoppala
Andrew Kuoppala

Bill I am a huge fan....you are the best. I recall a video recently about a pilot giving you RVR. I know you are a pilot as well. RVR is the measurement of visibility used by mainly airline level pilots that we go so on the approach plate you may note something like 200 and 1/2 or RVR 1800...we use RVR when reported so ceiling is meaningless RVR is boss. It just simplifies everything. Basically when RVR is being reported we don't care about ceiling....also sets take off mins. Good luck with you flying. America loves you sir.

2 ай мурун
Judson Pratt
Judson Pratt

The laaaaaadeeeeees

2 ай мурун
Carla Alexander
Carla Alexander

Lmao the Tesla RV image 🤣

2 ай мурун
Greenest Hue
Greenest Hue

Dude, you absolutely killed it in this episode of Mandolorian. Great job.

2 ай мурун
dex räikkönen
dex räikkönen

if a wanted to know anything about people is syria; I'd put on the news, in terrorist, conflict, and tragedy section.

2 ай мурун
bob dole
bob dole

Blowing my mind. Just binged like ten of these while playing COD zombies, then boom, billy red bush on the Mandalorian for the LAAAAAADIES

2 ай мурун
Scott V
Scott V

I miss pre-Disney bill who didn’t trust the people in charge

2 ай мурун
SeamanSock
SeamanSock

Don’t know if you read these, but most recent episode of Mando you were absolutely incredible. The coffee table scene makes me need to see more Bill Burr drama. God damn that was a great scene

2 ай мурун
Fingaz MC
Fingaz MC

Wow, they still use cheques in America? Edit: around 53 mins

2 ай мурун
Scott V
Scott V

Would pre-Disney bill be first in line?

2 ай мурун
765 er
765 er

Just watched you on The Mandalorian this morning! Fantastic job sir. Migs Mayfield lives!!!!

2 ай мурун
Paul Carman
Paul Carman

Bill : I need to start eating more vegan meals so I can get healthier, lose weight, and flatten my stomach. 5 mins later... Bill : buy this meat that sponsors my videos!

2 ай мурун
pooritech
pooritech

Bsa7tek 7bibi, erromiya lougha Chabat! ;)

2 ай мурун
Zippy Ustar
Zippy Ustar

I drive a 1988 Chrysler La Baron and no cell phone happy just where I am 💃🏼

2 ай мурун
chevyy steve
chevyy steve

Hey, I really don't know what to say, other than I just found you here. I'm 65 so all the things you've said, I lived through. With me and my brothers was we couldn't get up from the table until we ate what was on our plate. Love ya bud, be safe and be blessed. 😇

2 ай мурун
Roman Sutton
Roman Sutton

The Kenya guy will be happy when he gets to this episode in 10 years

2 ай мурун
Ruben Hernandez
Ruben Hernandez

should of gone to Franks in downtown

2 ай мурун
VeryBenjaminLife
VeryBenjaminLife

👏👏👏

2 ай мурун
Alaric Cianci-Stephens
Alaric Cianci-Stephens

JJ having some tea with the crumpets he was handing out to ol' Philly Rivs

2 ай мурун
Mid-Night Son 2021
Mid-Night Son 2021

Covid. Isn't real on Flat Earth

2 ай мурун
Timmy Corini
Timmy Corini

gaaaaay

2 ай мурун
Benjamin Cochran
Benjamin Cochran

@25:34

2 ай мурун
Jelly Jams
Jelly Jams

Bill you should watch “Le Trou” it’s a French black and white movie about guys who break out of prison

2 ай мурун
Charlie Howa
Charlie Howa

love how people are blindly willing to take the vaccine. dont people remember that the us gov did horrifc tests on minorities with vaccines

2 ай мурун
Dilyara Orazali
Dilyara Orazali

Thank you Bill Burr

2 ай мурун
OG NA$A
OG NA$A

Yes check out my podcast I mention you bro the OG NASA magical podcast bro

2 ай мурун
George Zuniga
George Zuniga

Ol' billy "sheer volume" burr

2 ай мурун
DANNY D
DANNY D

Bill Burr The Legend

2 ай мурун
Allan Adamson
Allan Adamson

just checking in to say.. .... OILERS!

2 ай мурун
pinster pinster
pinster pinster

I found Bill when the pandemic hit. His Podcast 3-26 had a quote that I wont ever forget. He was talking about getting good deals on expensive toys after the pandemic hit. """"You think I'm not looking at Helicopters. You think I'm not gonna swoop in like a Vulture with shit and dick joke money... Huh..."""" Bill you're frickin hysterical !!!!!!!!!!

2 ай мурун
fredafelcher1
fredafelcher1

A salad....and a pizza, love it Bill

2 ай мурун
Robert Makley
Robert Makley

No bill.. your part of the conspiracy. Your funny as fk but your part of the real problem. Just like the rest of you guys

2 ай мурун
Billy Linchpin
Billy Linchpin

Hitler cut his moustache that way because he originally had a Willhelm style moustache. But that moustache wouldnt fit right with the gasmasks in ww1 when he served. He said it kept getting in the way so he cut it in his infamous fashion. And it stuck

2 ай мурун
Odenix75 Odenix75
Odenix75 Odenix75

@Bill f@ckface burr 👍👍😁🇺🇸

2 ай мурун
Tired Lyfe
Tired Lyfe

Just moved to Dallas 3 weeks ago. Now I feel obligated to try this Pecan Lodge. New co-workers mentioned it already.

2 ай мурун
Visionland Music
Visionland Music

Texas is going bury Biden in SCOTUS.

2 ай мурун
Key Epic
Key Epic

I was a fan, after Listening to this Masterpiece im a WHOLE AIRCONDITIONER!

2 ай мурун
Crimes Across The Globe •
Crimes Across The Globe •

Your progressing lol

2 ай мурун
tecums3h
tecums3h

How the fuck is this the top comment?

2 ай мурун
Jakub Urban
Jakub Urban

With the rate you're spamming comments all over the place I'm guessing you didn't even watch 10 minutes of it.

2 ай мурун
They were dead when I got there
They were dead when I got there

Oh wow another check on a YouTube channel must mean his comment is more important and relevant than most. Let's like and reply so he feels a dopamine hit ;)

2 ай мурун
Agent Harris
Agent Harris

Love you billy bald nuts

2 ай мурун
Nick
Nick

That's racist

2 ай мурун
niko dantona
niko dantona

It’s the tea

2 ай мурун
Simply Matt
Simply Matt

This made me laugh. Hadn't done that in a while, thank you

2 ай мурун
T-Rx
T-Rx

Hey, Bill or anyone, not super tech-savvy. If your phone was purchased within the last couple of years, it's most likely a 4K camera. So, it's basically future-proofed for at least the next 10 years. Most people can't tell the difference between HD (1080p) or 4K UHD(2160p) anyway.

2 ай мурун
Dustin Avant
Dustin Avant

Bill Burr admits to being a hipster alien with only eating human-ly sourced meat

2 ай мурун
crzy Fetch
crzy Fetch

Bil you really need a video feed 2 wil making this podcast way more entertaining❤

2 ай мурун
edward volker
edward volker

Historically the first vaccine of anything were riddled with side effects

2 ай мурун
Jake Norris
Jake Norris

'err actually engine blocks are not made out of steel, it will be aluminium or cast iron.' Read in Bill's mocking voice.

2 ай мурун
Mathieu Wilkens
Mathieu Wilkens

Why would anybody fry a frozen bird? Why do stupid people do anything bill? They don't know any better. That's why there has to be a warning on everything now.

2 ай мурун
VioletintheSun
VioletintheSun

I agree about keeping our cars Bill! Love you, hope you and the family stay safe and well ❤❤❤❤

2 ай мурун
Ian-Devon Lewis
Ian-Devon Lewis

About that vaccine. I am willing to get it but not in a rush. Let them iron out the kinks before calling me up. Id rather be the guy smashing zombie heads and not mashing on heads as a zombie.

2 ай мурун
stevstro
stevstro

Hey Bill, got a 2001 Honda Accord with 171,000 on it. Just getting broken in. I'm going for 300,000 or more. No point in getting a new car. Next acquisition will be a 1983 Dodge pickup with a Cummins diesel engine.

2 ай мурун
Erick Galindo
Erick Galindo

When is your show in houston?

2 ай мурун
Jake Ryan Music
Jake Ryan Music

Bill Burr needs a Spotify deal

2 ай мурун
Timothy Wood
Timothy Wood

Yo, NFL lovin freckle face, how you feel about Tom Brady stealing almost a million in PPP from us pleebs?

2 ай мурун
Soyuz da Villan
Soyuz da Villan

Ol' Billy Mayfeld Fireballs Great White Vaccine Hope

2 ай мурун
dazeitgeist
dazeitgeist

Oh man. You fucking rule!! The second word for that sound a horse makes. Is a 'whinny'. Lot of horsey people where I grew up in England Also. I can't remember where I heard this. So it could be bullshit, but I saw somewhere. Hitler loved Charlie Chaplin. Who had a moustache like that.

2 ай мурун
Andrew Jackson
Andrew Jackson

Bill burr had an Aleppo moment lmao

2 ай мурун
c j
c j

There isn’t a man alive who knows less about cars than ole billy boy

2 ай мурун
wrestlingthompson
wrestlingthompson

I love Bill's southern voice.

2 ай мурун
60zeller
60zeller

You do not have to mention that it is about a gay couple. It’s a French movie. I just assumed

2 ай мурун
dmob420
dmob420

Lets take a vaccine that was rushed. God knows what the side effects will be. I'm all set. It's been almost 12 months and no covid for me and i have been working. Started in june and still at it.

2 ай мурун
Nick
Nick

Let's let the libs take it first!

2 ай мурун
Manny Hernandez
Manny Hernandez

Thank God....no nia !!!

2 ай мурун
Sean Kelly Murray
Sean Kelly Murray

Fxcking ZOOM, fxcking calls, yeah shxty internet and having to use Zoom will make all us Irish hot heads from Boston go postal!

2 ай мурун
d3adkid
d3adkid

lol upside down pizza

2 ай мурун
s02 Pzychotik
s02 Pzychotik

--______

2 ай мурун
The Ggzzbb
The Ggzzbb

Already forgetting about Michael Jordan's attempt at the Hitler moustache?

2 ай мурун
Gwendolyn Nowlan
Gwendolyn Nowlan

also it's not a conspiracy. china is flooded and all fucked up they need more land. so they made this virus to weaken the world. Joe's gonna put them back on the payroll they are super excited.

2 ай мурун
Elliot Stent
Elliot Stent

20:01 - Ol' Billy Baloney Face roasting Philly once again!

2 ай мурун

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