Monday Morning Podcast 11-30-20

  • күнү жарыяланды 3 ай мурун

    Bill Burr

    узактыгы: 1:15:52

    Bill rambles about losing his temper, lockdowns, and sleep sex.
    Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
    Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
    Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2
    Here’s the website! billburr.com
    I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.
    I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.

Victoria Morgan
Victoria Morgan

That hamburger meat is free? 😐

2 ай мурун
someone
someone

How humbled Ricky Gervais will be that Bill didn't mention his name as a favorite british standup 😅

2 ай мурун
Dave Middleton
Dave Middleton

Washington PILGRIMS instead of "Redskins"

2 ай мурун
1o29s23
1o29s23

I knew he would have to go back to the sexomnia thing at some point 😂

2 ай мурун
Vitor Graça
Vitor Graça

"Let me go to my Twitter feed right now and just read you all the hate that I get"

2 ай мурун
dex räikkönen
dex räikkönen

Dentists aren't Doctors

2 ай мурун
Reid Dissinger
Reid Dissinger

But the cdc at first said to not wear masks?

2 ай мурун
Raymond Malianga
Raymond Malianga

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzip.............................................................recruiter

2 ай мурун
Daniel Bottas
Daniel Bottas

Fuck, I suffer from tinnitus too, how do you deal with it?? Do you take something for it? It pisses me of sometimes that fucking ringing on my ears !

2 ай мурун
Key Epic
Key Epic

Vanderbilt woman kicker is cool and all, but I'd rather hear the "lady kicks baby" story.

2 ай мурун
Sawid aytama
Sawid aytama

Man that dude mailed in just to get roasted 😂

2 ай мурун
William Walton
William Walton

Anyone know how to e-mail this clown

2 ай мурун
jonnydwolf
jonnydwolf

Someone tell Bill Burr he needs to take that truck out and drive it a good 30 minutes or so. Don’t just start the thing and let it run for a few minutes and call it good. This does more harm than good. Causes water to be introduced to the oil and doesn’t allow time for condensation to burn off from the valve train/ cam. Think corrosion and spalling. That is all. 😊

2 ай мурун
Jeremy Enriquez
Jeremy Enriquez

Also the Great Reset isn't a conspiracy Jon Carry just got done talking about it the other day .

2 ай мурун
Jeremy Enriquez
Jeremy Enriquez

Low-key the same people you call a pussy for not wearing masks are the ones telling us to wear them . I don't mind wearing masks . I actually love places like Japan who wore masks on the regular just to keep germs to themselves. That being said if masks were so detrimental to the outbreak why are the same people who tell us to wear a mask also got caught not social distancing and not wearing masks.

2 ай мурун
Buhlawkay Da Boy
Buhlawkay Da Boy

Almost the anniversary of my dads death - nothin can make me appreciate life more than this! Thanks ol billy freckle nuts!

2 ай мурун
Twobarpsi
Twobarpsi

Welcome to Sports Center 🤷‍♂️

2 ай мурун
Peter Kinner
Peter Kinner

I just had to leave this here. A 40 minute read, but for you Bill, 120. Thank you for the laughs over here in the UK. file:///C:/Users/slowroll/Desktop/harmthangood.pdf

2 ай мурун
Bobby B
Bobby B

I love how in some these podcast he doesn't even have much to say lol. Still entertaining though

2 ай мурун
AceMalarky
AceMalarky

39:22 Bill Boognish?

2 ай мурун
WOOBA
WOOBA

He would release Thursdays podcast late after they hinted his return in mandalorian.

2 ай мурун
EricTheDesigner
EricTheDesigner

I hear you on the garage thing! my grandad used to say " why do you have a garage if you still work in the dirt and filth" you can work in the dirt outside!

2 ай мурун
The Tankela
The Tankela

Burr ya sly bastard...back in the mandalorian

2 ай мурун
usef walid
usef walid

I love old airports,small airports all of that shit -Bill Burr

2 ай мурун
Ha Vu
Ha Vu

Looks like our red hair ballsack is back on The Mandalorian. Looking forward to thay.

2 ай мурун
Trip Dapperson Jr.
Trip Dapperson Jr.

Since joe rogan moved to spotify, Bill should add a camera to the podcast and start having some guests and fill that void on youtube lol.

2 ай мурун
Joseph Wayne
Joseph Wayne

I'd like to see Bill play Good Times Bad Times....??

2 ай мурун
carley northcoast
carley northcoast

Plot twist: CDC told people not to wear masks for the first six months of the pandemic.

2 ай мурун
chris kazaam
chris kazaam

Yeah, after the # of "cases" dropped.

2 ай мурун
completenalayak
completenalayak

Regarding sleep walking I am little surprised that Bill doesn't know about Mike Birbiglia. Mike is a comedian and has a serious case of sleep walking, he almost killed himself once.

2 ай мурун
khrom
khrom

Love the fake love and respect for Joel.

3 ай мурун
Jordan AR
Jordan AR

I love when he does the NFL song😂

3 ай мурун
Mark Venicio
Mark Venicio

Trip the female and than get her number later 🤣✌

3 ай мурун
Justin Pettit
Justin Pettit

I predicted your Pats to beat the Cardinals Bill. Lol. Also predicted 49ers over Rams

3 ай мурун
Jack Murphy
Jack Murphy

Okay virzi

3 ай мурун
D D
D D

Swear every one of these is exactly the same 😅

3 ай мурун
A High Ferret
A High Ferret

Around 14:00 Is he talking about Jake Paul?

3 ай мурун
Jack Murphy
Jack Murphy

Dur

3 ай мурун
Jeff Baker
Jeff Baker

"Bill is against organized religion and believes we should go back to the gold standard for our currency. None of his opinions are based on any sort of reliable information. He tends to go with his first thought, *because reading makes him sleepy* ." 🤣

3 ай мурун
CJOK
CJOK

"He's been aggressive on line since 2008 & half" i like Bill's laydee voice.

3 ай мурун
Explorer
Explorer

How to I send mr burr a message for him to read during his podcast?

3 ай мурун
Roberto Puga
Roberto Puga

You gorgeous bastard... it's a pleasure to work hearing this man.

3 ай мурун
Cliff Webb
Cliff Webb

You need a fucking swear jar for every time you flip over bullshit, but your swear jar penalty should be a hundred bucks worth of 10 dollar bills that you hand out to the fucking homeless because you are rich and don't have real problems

3 ай мурун
Tempest God Gaming
Tempest God Gaming

Lonnnng time stand up fan, love F is for Family, new-ish podcast listener. Where do I go to write in for discussing topics? I've listened to a bunch of the ranting compilations and such by fan pages and there's a few emails people just have me like "what the actual fuck are they thinking!!"

3 ай мурун
kincade hallock
kincade hallock

@billburrif you want solar panels let me know I can get you them for free on your house and it'll save you a ton of money you mentioned something like that in one of your podcasts and my company will hook you up

3 ай мурун
Lance YOXTHEIMER
Lance YOXTHEIMER

Bring back Sherry's berries

3 ай мурун
Jeff Baker
Jeff Baker

😐

3 ай мурун
Miss So
Miss So

"...who won't care what we put in the water supply"... 😆 I want a daily calendar with daily quotes from Bill...

3 ай мурун
G Art
G Art

Phonetic: *Tin-ah-tus.*

3 ай мурун
Nick M
Nick M

I direct my anger at inanimate objects especially when I’m at work repairing cars. The guys at work think it’s hilarious and we all get a good laugh. Anger is a normal emotion. Just direct it constructively. If Bill wasn’t angry he wouldn’t be half as funny 😄anyhow

3 ай мурун
Thomas Branch
Thomas Branch

"Oh darn" Darnold? LOL noooope

3 ай мурун
dmob420
dmob420

That poor girl. I bet she is getting trolled so hard cuz of a girl playing football with boys. I would give her mad respect if she was playing defense or a QB or anything but a kicker. Why can't the men play with men and the girls play with girls. It works for everybody. If girls want to play with the boys then we must treat then like a boy. Let's keep it 100!

3 ай мурун
daslo lourenco
daslo lourenco

Bill needs his Orwell 1984 hate minute.. Snapping convulsely here aswell

3 ай мурун
David Lawson
David Lawson

How does Bill not get kicked out of TX?

3 ай мурун
Frank Hardie
Frank Hardie

you're wrong Bill, cdc clowns lie we don't need no stinkin' mask

3 ай мурун
fuaad S
fuaad S

How do we send in things for billy ballgag here to read?😂

3 ай мурун
Tracy Stephens
Tracy Stephens

36:55 the zip recruiters crack me up 🤣

3 ай мурун
Peseti Tukutau
Peseti Tukutau

Keep killin it

3 ай мурун
Gonzo Lenz
Gonzo Lenz

“I have huge respect for Joel Olsteen” Now THAT’S funny. Bill you are an effin C. xxx

3 ай мурун
jason simons
jason simons

Your the man Bill Burr, keep fighting the good fight Bro!!!

3 ай мурун
Michael Kimmings
Michael Kimmings

That's how I roll... Anger

3 ай мурун
Lapis2200
Lapis2200

CDC stated "dont wear a mask"..then ""wear a mask" ..then scientists state ..it doesnt help..but you need to wear a mask..

3 ай мурун
chris kazaam
chris kazaam

I listen to the scientists...ehhh the inventor of the PCR test who calls Mr. CDC Fauci an idiot.

2 ай мурун
Lapis2200
Lapis2200

CDC just changed the quarantine time -now its 7 days ,,maybe 10,,,the dont know...

3 ай мурун
Garrett G
Garrett G

You deadnamed The Washington Football Team - watch it! 🤣

3 ай мурун
kimberly anderson
kimberly anderson

the dundies homy

3 ай мурун
Cody Allen
Cody Allen

You need to pray bro lol

3 ай мурун
Kenji Mapes
Kenji Mapes

The Paul-Robinson fight was ridiculous. Nate is like 5’8” tall and 180 lbs max. He is in his late 30’s and a basketball player. Paul, while he is a YouTube personality, I believe is an amateur boxer who is professionally trained. I believe he is 6’2” tall and like 220lbs Of course he is going to win. Why would they rag on Nate? I am no boxing expert but would that fight be really legitimate given the height and weight differences? Was it an exhibition? That’s why they have classes right? Not a fan of boxing. It is too constrained. I can appreciate it but MMA is more like real fighting. Boxing is a legitimate sport but as far as capturing real street fighting essence, it’s MMA all the way. But as they say, you cannot argue taste.

3 ай мурун
Bostonian
Bostonian

I forgot the upside of my birthday being on a Monday. I got an episode of the MM podcast to listen to!

3 ай мурун
Karl Johanson
Karl Johanson

How am I? Good. Just had some hot chocolate.

3 ай мурун
Johnny Cheung
Johnny Cheung

I LOVE IT WHEN THINGS BOTHER BILL BURR 😂😂😂😂

3 ай мурун
Johnny Cheung
Johnny Cheung

Time is flying when you read so many ads.

3 ай мурун
Kevin Barlow
Kevin Barlow

Fuck. Sold Out everywhere. Somebody give Bill a night in San Antonio!

3 ай мурун
Tony Stark
Tony Stark

Loved ya in Mandalorian , sorry though your in prison now.

3 ай мурун
Bret Heinemeyer
Bret Heinemeyer

West of Dallas neat little rock climbing park and lake. Mineral Wells State Park. Worth the trip for a little outdoor hike!!!!

3 ай мурун
Trav2016
Trav2016

Hey Bill and others did you know that the loss of life world wide has gone down each year from 1.15 seven years ago decreasing to 1.12 last year. And 2020 looks to be the safest of any decade/year with a massive drop to 1.10 world wide as of November 2020 But we won't have final numbers until February 2021. This is happening for two reasons first CCP/CHINA is not giving out accurate numbers and second the Plague didn't kill anyone in excess meaning those expected to die did and those expecting to die also took better care of themselves. So you have z 4.6% chance of death from Covid-19 out of 100,000 people but you also have that same rate compared to 2017 numbers world wide. All I'm saying Bill is do the numbers yourself it's simple 4th grade math.

3 ай мурун
Michael Hertel
Michael Hertel

Tried to get tickets for Dallas show they sold out in like 45 secs.........

3 ай мурун
Schecter 7
Schecter 7

Wait didn't fauchie say that you didn't need a mask and that it was pointless?

3 ай мурун
Robert Davis
Robert Davis

The guy who wrote Bill the email about masks...must have forgot that Bill went off on the whole city of Philadelphia.

3 ай мурун
J Mac
J Mac

Analytics are for nerds. Run the damn ball.

3 ай мурун
Jeremy Dockter
Jeremy Dockter

I feel ya. So many things bother me. I blow my gasket daily. But at least I can laugh about it.

3 ай мурун
Slick Smoke
Slick Smoke

We love you out here in Oklahoma dawg stay real keep doing you and I know that's hard to do wit cancel culture always breathing down your neck but don't change brother..

3 ай мурун
A K
A K

Keep it coming. Love ya, billy❤️

3 ай мурун
Speedy28Gonzales
Speedy28Gonzales

That blindside block infuriated me. The nfl is getting so pussy.

3 ай мурун
PJ B.
PJ B.

Spot on in regards to the garage. 100% agree. If it's a big enough garage and you don't have an extra room for it, a bar and a dart board is OK to put in, other than that, garage stuff only.

3 ай мурун
Busch Hawg
Busch Hawg

You know Bill if you just tried mushrooms it might open your mind up to a joint or two

3 ай мурун
Janidu
Janidu

When bill said he was snapping left and right first thing i thought was "maybe his on his period"

3 ай мурун
Bob Holbrook
Bob Holbrook

If you’re serious I might have something that works! For real though.... I’m a tattoo artist in Denver,Co. tattooing always chills me out. If you ever want to try it let me know hahaha. I know this sounds crazy and all but fuck it what do you got to lose? There is just something soothing about torturing someone who wants it haynahaha

3 ай мурун
Conrad Zeelie
Conrad Zeelie

Anger is normal dude. You are just blessed with more than some.

3 ай мурун
David T
David T

Anger is a secondary emotion which masks the real emotion Bill.

3 ай мурун
Kris Long
Kris Long

If you go to Texas and focus on pulled pork, you're missing out. Brisket, man. Come to NC for pulled pork.

3 ай мурун
almighty347fly
almighty347fly

I think you should stream on twitch

3 ай мурун
Tim Johnson
Tim Johnson

They're called The Football Team. The Washington Football Team. Fucking hilarious.

3 ай мурун
TeenageWind
TeenageWind

Anyone know if ol' Billy BlazeBalls has ever talked about his drum setup? Curious to know what kind of kit he plays.

3 ай мурун
Jason Chislett
Jason Chislett

Always a pleasure listening to you, laughs don't come cheap this year.

3 ай мурун
helen ready
helen ready

tinnitus. in what capacity are you going to go on the road? with covid still a thing

3 ай мурун
Bill Woo
Bill Woo

Masks recirculate waste product back into your lungs. DUH. It doesn't take a physician to realize that inhibiting respiratory function is bad for your health. DUH. But many notable physicians have made that precise assertion. And been deleted from social media. Use your brain.

3 ай мурун
chris lively
chris lively

Shhhhh 🤫. Must be in conformity with big pharma dogma scientism to be considered science remember?

2 ай мурун
UncleBuZ
UncleBuZ

My gawd damn ears ring too.

3 ай мурун
Hawk Tawk
Hawk Tawk

Y'all see the meme that compared the fight to the scene from sanford and son?

3 ай мурун
DulceEt DecorumEst
DulceEt DecorumEst

I love bill burr again. Glad to hear him tear that anti masker a new one

3 ай мурун
Smeebles Ronson
Smeebles Ronson

Tin night us tinnitus

3 ай мурун
OptimusRhymz 222
OptimusRhymz 222

Just saw the movie were you flexed your acting chops...nice try...how you gonna walk up to chris and al at a bar... asking them if they know what time it is ... like you gonna be the mic that's gonna wipe they ass and put them to bed...I didn't by it... your mouth is sharp. However, stick to comedy.😁🥞🍻🛀💖

3 ай мурун
dylncb
dylncb

Please add video to the podcast. Need to see your facial expressions😂😂

3 ай мурун
Brendan
Brendan

The opening 2 minutes... Me (and apparently everyone else) in a nutshell.

3 ай мурун
GIMIEEE15
GIMIEEE15

Bill and chappel are top of the food chain

3 ай мурун
Billy Renee Hill
Billy Renee Hill

And they have compromised themselves to a disturbing degree to reach it

3 ай мурун

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