узактыгы: 1:56:30
Bill rambles about Oklahoma, recounts, and Oreo cookies.
Full Episodes of the Monday Morning Podcast: bit.ly/2nAzwGV
Full Episodes of the Thursday Afternoon Podcast: bit.ly/2mTA6Cy
Full Episodes of the MMP One-Shots: bit.ly/2oNClY2
Here’s the website! billburr.com
I was born a freckled child in a land far away during a much simpler time. I did well in school until it counted. As a freshman in high school I had dreams of going to Notre Dame and becoming a lawyer. By the time I was sophomore I was taking shop class and was considering getting into construction. I ended up working in warehousing and unloading trucks. Other than stand up, that job was the most fun I ever had.
I am now a stand up comedian. I do a couple hundred shows a year. And I enjoy the travel. I’ve done four hour-long stand-up specials: “Why Do I Do This”, “Let It Go”, “You People Are All The Same” and “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.” I host a podcast each week called The Monday Morning Podcast. And I have an animated series on Netflix called: ‘F’ Is For Family.’ Occasionally I act in movies but only when they let me.
Жорумдар
philip dufour
Never in my life did I ever think I would look forward to hearing ads. Zip reeeeeeecruiter!!!! So original. Love it.
Ай мурунBacon Bits
Hey Bill is the purpose of this podcast comedy or are we practicing our reading out loud 😂😂😂😂. Busting your balls love the pod cast
Ай мурунcivroger
Boba Fett survived :)
2 ай мурунJohnny Cheung
Omg. That part on sling blade cracks me up too so bad. Lol. I love the part when he says, "I'm hurtin Linda"
3 ай мурунPeter pemrich
"ZIP. hIOahW"
3 ай мурунCooltigerkook
Love from Antarctica
3 ай мурунfrakkedinmi
Not political to try to keep people from dying. Or it shouldn't be.
3 ай мурунGregariousGrog Games
hahaha johnny football
3 ай мурунkrvnjrcbs
The thing about conservatives is, none of us really love trump. We just really really can't stand liberal values. Give us some credit, we almost got a dink nobody liked elected back in office just for the cause.
3 ай мурунkrvnjrcbs
I dunno what to tell you guys. I live in Michigan. Michigan is consistently one of the worst states for covid since this thing started. But Michigan also has an extremely liberal governor who's imposed some of the strictest lock downs earlier than all but 3 other states. And We've just started another round. Despite all of that, we're still the worst state. It just hasn't worked. And on top of that, now we've got no small businesses left. I'm sorry you guys think a silly paper mask is going to protect you from a virus. Q: Why do the people who work in safe and highly controlled labs doing things with viruses wear a full on hazmat suit? A: because they know a paper mask isn't going to do anything to protect them.
3 ай мурунGabriel Guttierrez
Dude I am so lost..are some of these podcasts old?? I thought he didn't drink for 2 years now..
3 ай мурунGarrett Johnson
Check out my instrumental tape Billy.
3 ай мурунgandom lee
I'm with you Bill. i watched this twilight movie at the theater with some friends. Man did i not want to see that crap but these girls asked me and my friend to go. so anyways lol there is a scene when the one chick is pregnant by the vampire and the baby is like taking all her life force or whatever. She gets up and instantly breaks her legs from being weak and drops. I bust out laughing in the movie theater cuz i thought of that as a family guy moment, and all I see is the girls we were with and some others in the theater turn and give me this death stare like "how can you laugh at that you dick". lol
3 ай мурунEvan Olson
I died when he was doing the indochino ad and was all like “talk about buttons!”😂
3 ай мурунJMess 00
1:29 1:51
3 ай мурунYordaN Yotov
You sound like a cynical Jordan Peterson sometimes and you don't realize it ;)
3 ай мурунrednblack wolfpac
Don't feel bad bill i laughed at the same scene in sling blade the look on my friends parents face at the time was priceless and made me laugh more, then when they asked what was wrong with me it put the laughter into overdrive 🤣🤣🤣🤣
3 ай мурунMrWayout74
Who thought of Jeff Daniels shouting "Footlong.... who's got the Footlong?!" During the old dildo story?
3 ай мурунSolitude Standing11
If I loved Bill Burr for no other reason -- and there are a ton of reasons to respect his comedy -- I would love him because he loved and appreciated Patrice O'Oneal. And still does, as a matter of fact. 💜
3 ай мурунS Brown
12:10 Fire Sale.
3 ай мурун1o29s23
Lol that guy that found out his wifes some kinda furry, you dont need to deal with that fellas
3 ай мурунKaiserSchnitzel
LMAO at "In the darkest depths of Mortar"
3 ай мурунDa GingerBread Mane
So spot on Bill
3 ай мурунDave Taitt
How do you give back what you don't have?
3 ай мурунtattoogoon
people have amazon a bit wrong. the big stores do suffer while the small or new business man get a big platform
3 ай мурунEric Matthews Jr
@BillBur OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO LAUGH AT PRECIOUS 💀😳 NOT LAUGHING AT THE SITUATION BUT JUST THAT I KNOW ITS A MOVIE
3 ай мурунCeNoTiX Gaming
@23:44 if you dont laugh you have no humour. LOL
3 ай мурунAlbert A
Hey Bill, get an economist like Tuomas Malinen that actually can give some substance on your end the Fed / economic collapse stuff.
3 ай мурунkyle woodman
He puts the darn in Darnold lol
3 ай мурунFinger Board
Covid is not real dude
3 ай мурунLinda Gordon
cow "boys" are cownazis to cows
3 ай мурунEVERS FORGE WORKS
Damn right. Proud of it. They're DELICIOUS and people need their wagyu
3 ай мурунSteveknowles Knowles
Obviously bill hasn't been to the real Oklahoma!
3 ай мурунLars Larsen
Zip Recruiter: We vastly overestimate the number of people who listen to podcasts in a position to hire someone.
3 ай мурунkrvnjrcbs
Gotta hand it to em though. We all know who zip recruiter is lol
3 ай мурунLars Larsen
If masks work, why do we need a lockdown?
3 ай мурунCrystal Nolan
Omg. That part on sling blade cracks me up too so bad. Lol. I love the part when he says, "I'm hurtin Linda"
3 ай мурунDanny0dbert
Omg I never expected the movie you were laughing at was precious. Holy shit. Lmao
3 ай мурунNono Nono
You dummy Bill, it's not just "the goberment" that tells people to wear masks. It's everyone else, from people to companies to non-profits and whatever, who don't want the knuckleheads to spread the airborne virus while they're coughing everywhere after screaming that they won't wear a mask. Nothing to respect there.
3 ай мурунMR K
lol all Drumpf's lawsuits were tossed out - this was the closest watched election in history, there was absolutely not rigging "on both sides," only Trump and his Q cuck Klan folks tried to steal anything. The USPS BS, trying to not count absentee and military votes ONLY in states he lost, it's laughably obvious. The plan is just to grift as much as possible before he's tossed out - and of course to set the narrative for 2024. BTW WEAR A MASK R-TARDS. Trump's planned inaction on covid was because they thought it would hit cities (blue districts) harder (there's tapes from back in March of Donald talking privately about how deadly Covid is, THEN he decided to undermine the recommendations of Fauci and CDC). We could have been over this by now, I called a third wave as the first one was kicking off because we made all the same mistakes 100 years ago. Buckle up Murica, winter is coming.
3 ай мурунBright Glory
Middle Earth isn't in the middle of earth, Arabian horses are often white, Spanish names are "white" names by definition just like O'Neill despite Shaq existing although Tony Mendes was tejano and not an irish guy from Boston.
3 ай мурунMr_Salamanca
Now i want some Oreos, thanks a lot asshole.
3 ай мурунThe Intangible Fancy
Zip.......................................Recruiter. you make commercial plugs so funny
3 ай мурунFelipe Lima
Love u Bill. Phill from Rio Brazil.
3 ай мурун中天已死有事燒紙
我來自台灣 10年前就 超喜歡你的脫口秀 有機會 希望你來台灣表演 脫口秀
3 ай мурунFidelHimself
Yea misinformed people love to force others to do stupid things
3 ай мурунSLEEP GRANDMA ASMR TALK
Damn, you got a whole conspiracy theory going that.. LOL. Awesome! Like listening to a spy novel.
3 ай мурунSLEEP GRANDMA ASMR TALK
LMAOOOOO!!!! I LOVE MANNIX! I screamed when you said Mannix and now I'm not a screamer! You're so right about the survivors oh my gosh I don't know how to do s***.
3 ай мурунNathan Shietze
This is the greatest thing I’ve ever discovered 🤣🤣🤣 love you Bill
3 ай мурунLance YOXTHEIMER
The most restrictive States New York and California have the highest death toll? What's goin on
3 ай мурунhassan palomo
I live in Lawton Oklahoma We are following all the guidelines that a big city follows but we don't have stupid protest despite our covid cases Rising. A lot of people wear masks here
3 ай мурунIsmael Garcia
Lmmfao roast em all 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 hate hate hate hate hate ... Playa hatta
3 ай мурунTroy Miller
Every time I listen to ol' Billy boy ramble on, I get crazy lunatic vibes...and I'm loving every second of it!
3 ай мурунKarim Kamar
Zip recruiter ad completely kills me without fail
3 ай мурунColetha Albert
Where's Cleo now ????????????????
3 ай мурунColetha Albert
Thank God for covid we are shut down again because people don't wear their masks.
3 ай мурунbuzzards cry
5:50 🤣🤣🤣🤣
3 ай мурунConner Freed
ZIP................. recruiter!
3 ай мурунNagsterTheGangster
4:30 Bill and I got it worked out. Buy Bitcoin yo. So when the US ditches the USD and opens Us-Crypto and have it propped as the oil dollar, youll need to buy you some, and your USD wont be worth shit. Keep Bitcoin around.
3 ай мурунEllie Sings
"...the gangrene, the broken flip flops, the wasted potential.." 😂
3 ай мурунskylar hunt-mundy
Damm I miss uninformed😏 Bring Joe Derosa on the podcast!!!
3 ай мурунSalinger
I love you Bill Burr!
3 ай мурунNikolai Kiss
Has Bill ended the advice segment?
3 ай мурунDo What Others Won't
Really... you're pro mask pro tyranny 🤦🏽♂️NWO
3 ай мурунJoshua Ray
Really reading about people making over $350,000 monthly from passive income investments even in this crazy market, any tips and pointers on how to make substantial passive income would be appreciated.
3 ай мурунThe Man They Call Boom
Invest in the vaccine companies, because a lot of people are gonna take it in order to save their lives. Granted... the vaccines are promoted by guys like Bill Gates... and he has a depopulation agenda.
3 ай мурунNagsterTheGangster
Just got another Kijiji message for 3 more tents: I bought em a good 4 months ago or more. Ya gotta wait sometimes, and you bet your ass ill be markin the dates of when I started getting messages bout certain shit im selling to the end date I stop getting inquiries. For next year ;)
3 ай мурунNagsterTheGangster
Order high-grade weed in 1/4lb - 1lb quantities and hook up your homies with good deals. You can negate a large amount of your monthly expenses by using that cash-flow to get you by. Within no time you'll end up in perpetual rotation where youll be able to use your "extra cash" anytime to pay a bill because youll see you have "X" amount of dollars minimum from the remainder of herbs you get. Also, if the USD actually goes to zero, youll know the new currency within 1 month cuz itll be what ppl bring you the most of to trade for herbs. Whether thats electronics, gold, bitcoin etc youll know faster than the average person because herbs are essentially a barter system. I've done so much work and paid for so much work in herbs in the past its ridiculous. Don't have $1000 for a fence but got 1/2LB of some crazy doja? You got yourself a fence when you find the right guy. Maybe 1/4lb + materials, its your world. Also, if you have extra money go on Alibaba and order like, 30 grow tents or LED grow lights (or 16gb 3600mhz RAM... Ive been saving that for a rainy day but you can have it if you actually got the balls to go through with it) I speak from personal experience so believe me or dont ya know. But go and throw that shit on Kijiji & Ebay. Then go and make an Amazon Sellers Central account and start getting em on Amazon as a 3rd party seller (although ive been making more off kijiji and Ebay... Made 20-25K last month on just the trimmers, I live in the Green Belt in Ontario so theres a fuck tonne of agriculture here. Once you got a few things goin for ya (I did motorized trimmers this harvest season, and now tents and grow lights are blowin up for me since nobody needs trimmers for outdoor anymore.) You dont gotta sell "weed" to be in the herb game, in fact theres better money in the infrastructure. Once you get 3-4 things goin for ya online, you get a hit every week, then every few days, then next thing you know you have a little money coming from each of them perpetually and you find that your bills are paid and you've still got investment money, and product to keep repeating! I'll tell you right now though, if you aint got the balls to put up $350,000 a year, youll never make $350,000 a year ya know? You gotta be a PLAYER in the game. And it IS a game, just like Sim-Fuckin-City. Its predictable and has cause and effect values and if you just say "fuck it, ima do it just to find out, and if im wrong, Ill find out why just for the fuck of doing it" you WILL WIN. Im telling ya, the difference between somebody who makes it and somebody who doesn't ever find out: Is just the balls to go through with it. Use the cause and effects of what you know and love to do and follow those premises to trade underpriced items! Fuck man Pokemon Cards are LIT right now!! I just got back into em since childhood and its AWESOME! I finally get to have money and open packs and be excited, theres $1000 cards you can get... Fuck man, my homie bought a box for $39.99 at Walmart (Champions Box, look em up on Amazon) and they flippin for $150 online right now! I could just be some nut on the internet, I wouldnt know. But I genuinely crafted this comment to give you REAL SHIT that I actually do in life to try n get u a boost. You gotta spend it to make it, and confidence is your best friend: almost to the point of arrogance. Believe in your ideas and FOLLOW the cause and effects, and if you find them appropriate, buy that "underpriced item" and flip that shit! I found Niagara Falls mugs in my basement and they have $15/ea price stickers from 2012 on em! I got 5! So minimum I should grab like $75 or some shit on those. They wont sell in a day, but because I've got so many things goin I can afford to wait because a little of something else will sell every week. Today I got 2 tents goin for $190 that I got for $40USD each, and on friday I got 4 goin for $500. A little here and a little there....One week the $1800 grow light I got up will sell and that will be a surprise too! Im not waiting on it to sell, I could give a fk, thats not the game. The game is continuously accumulating and flipping WHILE waiting on other flips... No matter what EVENTUALLY you end up with enough ends to make money CONSTENTELY. Theres 2 types of income: Constant income, like drug-dealers and flippers for example. And theres CONSISTENT income, which is a 9-5 job. I say constant income is the way: It makes you a better financier and better able to "go with the flow" and adapt. Which is good for the flip market. Wishing you all the best in the future and I hope that this comes as some sort of benefit to you. I tend to Capitalize important terms so dont think im 'yellin' at ya haha. Just trying to accentuate the important stuff from the lesser. And don't forget, its a GAME. Just like video games theres rules that are meant to keep players in line, like handball in soccer. And rules that are concrete, like physics. Know which rules you must adhere to and dont be afraid to "exploit" the rules if you gotta. Rules that keep players in line aren't called when the "ref" doesn't see, you know what im sayin home boy??? XD When you treat it all like its a game, the fluidity you have is amazing, and confidence building as well because when you do this shit "for the fuck of it" you find out.... youre right A LOT! Once I stopped asking opinions and started being arrogant in my affirmations I started being right all the fuckin time. Turns out the problems that were "in my way" were imaginary blockades from those I USED to hang out with. Now I cant stand hangin with em cuz they just bring me down, and when Im not with em Im always boostin' up! Stay blessed my friend: im pullin for ya, were all in this together so....keep your stick on the ice ;)
3 ай мурунPaula Davis
"The gangrene, the broken flip-flops..." LMAO!!!
3 ай мурунRichard Evans
Very true ????...I google searched the Broker you mentioned, Agatha Christine Robinson she seems very proficient, I will email her once I get home
3 ай мурунMac Pearman
Try Bullhide Belts. Made in USA, and you can order em online. Built like tanks.
3 ай мурунKristín Rós
The Precious story gets me rolling every time! I’m the same way so it hits home hahaha
3 ай мурунBlackball
37:07..." English Language "
3 ай мурунFrancis McNally
Laughing while watching precious.....oh bill 😂
3 ай мурунsean roche
bill u are wrong u can't lol
3 ай мурунNigel Martin
In awareness you see, not what pleases you but the truth. -Nisargadatta -And the truth will set you free. It’s no bs. Of course there is a conspiracy... it’s leaking all over the place. Haven’t you noticed? Bring back George Carlin! Really thought you were sharp. Oh well Hollyweirdo?
3 ай мурунMother of Eve
Thanks for the kiss...
3 ай мурунJournalz
Tired of Burr. He ain’t Ant or Patrice.
3 ай мурунJournalz
I never thought I’d see Burr smuggling up some white guilt and tryna launder and embezzle it.
3 ай мурунJournalz
Bill Burr is tryna protect his position in Hollywood. He secretly is down for masks and shutdowns.
3 ай мурунJournalz
Finally this guy denounces masks for once. I was getting suspicious as to why he goes on Opie’s podcast but never Anthony’s.
3 ай мурунdmob420
If this covid was really that bad There would be no kind of work at all. Think about it. You see on TV people wearing mask and then take it off to do whatever. You watch any sporting event and you will see people on the sidelines wearing mask and the players are not, on or off the field. So covid don't effect athletes? You must wear a mask when you enter a restaurant but you can take it off when you are at your table?( you are in a close building with no air circulation and every 6 ft. there is a group of people who are talking spreading particles in the air.) Whenever you see a person on TV they are NOT wearing mask, so TV people are immune too covid? People this covid is not that serious. It's only bad if you are over the age of 69 and/or have some kind of health condition. The democrats are using covid as a way to scare you and they want to control you, because they want your vote and they don't give 2 shits about you. Trump is for ALL AMERICANS!!!!!
3 ай мурунdannyventure
Uh, . . . I hate to be the bearer of worse news but it's even deeper than you think. It's world wide, and the Democrats in America are just slimy little minions in the big plan and they don't need anybody's vote, e.g. massive voter fraud. Trump was right and short term he's the best chance we have. I like Bills rants - up until now. He seemed to be more aware than this.
3 ай мурунlukethighstalker
please do a separate sports podcast Billy baldy bollocks... you know why dammit
3 ай мурунbaby goose
i would like to see a show or movie about Bill playing himself during a zombie apocalypse hahhahhahaha
3 ай мурунcheggers 80
I didn't even think about it until I read your comment but I do too now 😅😅
3 ай мурунdavido the gypsy
😂😂😂😂
3 ай мурунkaleo podcasts
i die laughing everytime bill promotes zip.................... ... ... RECRUITAH!
3 ай мурунJohnny Cheung
That might be my favorite "I'm just checking in on ya!" ever.
3 ай мурунRemi6T6
bill please come to oklahoma!!! would love to catch a show!!
3 ай мурунJohn Brower
Hey Bill, YouTube the Laughing interview, the interviewer cannot keep from laughing, funny as shit.
3 ай мурунkowe swiss
Bill, tell amazon to GTFO of my house! LoL.
3 ай мурунB Fowl
You know how some ppl like norm get better and better at standup? Why has bill been getting worse and worse?
3 ай мурунMark James Wolf
Hey Bill you should have your own TV series or movie not only one but a lot
3 ай мурунKlauth Yksyn
Wear a mask when you do your act on stage ....and podcast as well....and see how you feel bill.
3 ай мурунWorms Ali
The orcs and goblins looked pretty darkskin 🤨
3 ай мурунE
oh come on bill this is too big to fail
3 ай мурунpickle rick
Yeah... They shove the ballots into computers. You do it yourself when you fill out a paper ballot. A hand recount is eyeballs on paper.
3 ай мурунrabid zombiman
That might be my favorite "I'm just checking in on ya!" ever.
3 ай мурунReal Vibes
I was dyin laughing when he’s trying to remember Bezos’ name then starts naming random shit you can get off Amazon
3 ай мурунMatt
You’re putting a lot of words into bezos mouth 😆
3 ай мурунScoundrel 666 SFB
Living in Seattle, I can agree with everything he said. I don't have to like it, but the mans right.
3 ай мурунB aa
Now I need a camo dish towel :)
3 ай мурунRobbie Rogers
You're the best, Bill. Your comedy has kept me sane this year. I listen to your podcast and realize that I'm not the only crazy ginger out there who subscribes to conspiracy theory. COVID19 should be more appropriately named COVID18. We shall get through this. Thanks, for the podcasts.
3 ай мурунSuperSaiyan Zero
Zoned out- all I hear: "it's easy, if I can figure it out so can you".
3 ай мурунSuperSaiyan Zero
This is one of the best already 15 minutes in Bill has to be riding high as hell on his energy
3 ай мурунCraig VR
He's the voice of my conscience. Everything I think, he says
3 ай мурунRob Zombie
"Oh geezus"
3 ай мурунEbby C
"...my proper'ty" is a phrase I've only ever heard in an American accent. Love it 😊
3 ай мурунSteven Conrady
Thanks for the mention of Tulsa...Bill! 😂
3 ай мурунSir. Vakenax III
Can't help but smile at his innocence, being convinced there is no such thing as animal dildos... also the last guy surly hasn't seen Scrubs, he'd know not to mess with the janitor.
3 ай мурунBill Body
Why are you still using the pic where you have hair?
3 ай мурун