deep fried turkey is awesome...

26.38 "I don't need you weirds to send me some shit.. don't send me any shit..all you need to do its just fucking..listen..okay to the goddamn podcast..alright, don't show up my shows, trying to be a secret santa, alright, I tell shit jokes for a living, I don't need any help, I'm here to help you.. with my ignorance and my jokes" Hilarious, no bullshit and uplifting, all in one, making Bill one of the greatest comedians I've ever had the pleasure of listening to.

Also you’ll have to forgive me - How bout ya checkin on myyyyyyyyyy BOOKIE; ayyyyy ow da fuck you doooooin???

ZIP.... reCRUITaaa!

Will a drunken frat boy once become your leader? Where have you been, Bill, it already happened. Look up the recently added SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh. THE FUTURE IS NOW. Okay, this podcast isn't recent if it's referencing Peyton Manning playing in Denver.

We're weaker? Nah, mate, not even close to being the reason :D

bill your a guy thanks

Ok so i just started listening to these. Why does he talk about old stuff like it's recent events. Like the whole football bit talking about the colts and Luck. That was back in 2012 and he's retired already but he's talking about it like its a current event it throws me off so bad when he does that.

Is there a way to be notified if Mia is gonna gonna be on here so I can choose to skip and just listen to bill. It's like eating your favorite burger for years and then they say Hey you hate mayo? Here's a ton of it.

Bill tottaly talking about joe rogan. Guy never shuts up about shrooms

Where does someone write into Bill?

What are your thoughts Bill on a garage gym ?

Hey Billy-goat-gruff

Plato's allegory of the cave, immediately comes to mind my friend, the millions of documented experiences of beings/entities that visit us from beyond our normal everyday experience...there's at least more to reality than we as a society are willing to acknowledge but openly ridicule because of bullcrap taboos enforced by religious authorities that thinking people walk away from, we need to walk away from their programming too and accept that every culture throughout history has acknowledged gods.

Here's my essay, What a deer! Is that even a deer? This thing was too big to be a deer and had spots! Apparently they've been spotted in the area they're some sort of half deer half elk. I've only heard about them from 1 person, that's 1 story I'm sure is true. But how many stories about 1 animal at 1 time in history will it take for you to believe? It didn't happen to me its here say. Ok let's admit though, it only takes 1 of these animals to prove they existed and the guy got a picture of it. It's real! But here, this actually happened to ME. I was once visited by an invisible entity that paralyzed me with fear and I forced it away by calling on Jesus! Apparently it is NOT an uncommon experience that has afflicted more people than you can possibly understand. There are thousands of occurrences of this every year, but yet why did you believe me about the deer and not about the Sleep Paralysis Demons? I've only heard the 1 time about this Elk Deer. There are historically innumerable accounts of people encountering entities that are either hidden outside of our ability to perceive them through our senses or outside of our physical reality altogether. Call them whatever you will, Angels, Demons, ghosts, gods, Aliens, the list of names is infinite, unseen entities have existed in every culture in every religion in every society, since the beginning of humanity and yet humanity as a whole FAILS to acknowledge and understand that what we experience day to day is not even close to the whole of reality. Are you religious? Have you experienced anything that would defy rational scientific explanation? Because it happens ALL the time. Maybe you've experienced something or know people close to you who have. Ghost, angel, alien encounter some times it's just a vibe in a place that raises the hairs on your neck. Out of the millions of stories across history, if any of them are real it puts us in a reality where we as a species have selectively removed the knowledge of the unseen world the true scope of reality from mainstream society! Where is it? How can it be all around us? Atoms are made of an intangible center that creates an electromagnetic field that let's it Bond with or bounce off other atoms, the rest is 99.9999% empty space or not containing atoms on our frequency. Say our world takes up 1 whole percent. That leaves room for 99 other worlds where atoms are tuned to different frequencies. Worlds observable or communicable by meditation, psychoactive drugs, rituals, and lots of other ways. The term awakening means coming to the realization that there IS a larger world beyond our senses inhabited by entities of ALL kinds. This most basic truth of reality has been forced out of mainstream science and culture, made taboo and unspeakable by authorities, religious and academic, this knowledge remains ingrained in every person's subconscious and for more people than can be counted, their day to day lives. The history of humanity and secret societies, religions, wars, banking, the evil rulers that sacrificed people to dark forces for money and power comes into focus only when peered at through the lense of the awakened eye.

hello from brazil man, love your work

Happy Thanksgiving Bill to you and your family! Love your shit man!

They walk slow because they are lazy.

The mic was better at the start lol

Bill the stats on what happens to a human after one dose of Psilocybin is an immediate reduction in violent tendencies, theft, and generally negative crimes done against other individuals. Definitely look at the studies being conducted, my country (Canada) is now using magic mushrooms and Ketamine to treat severe depression and PTSD in soldiers.

The hallucination ship has sailed 🚢

Bill constantly having a woman talking in his head would be the ultimate Karma🤣

“Hey what are you doing” sounded like a child’s toy

Billy still flogging the scamdemic...I'm out

You forgot Riley Reid

I’m so glad I found this podcast.

Get the bird ahead of time and fucking let it thaw out before you fry the shit period.

Your podcast is quieter that usual especially at 33:48. Sounds like your distant from the mic.

Fry up a turkey. It's delicious

YES! I hate those people. We have them parking all over the street in my neighborhood. I cleaned off a mirror when I first moved in. Messed up my mirror, but it still feels good to think about. The jackass fixed his with black tape.

You just hit the Bob mcgrath note in the beginning 😆

You really ought to film yourself whilst doing these. I’d enjoy seeing your attendant facial expressions that I know will elevate your performance.

bill the podcast sounds compressed!

Hey. I also have “tinitus” one trick that works for me is, Just imagined that you have a oldschool volume controle buton you can turn to increase The volume. Now think of The tinutus while you mentaly turn thurn down the volume of your tinutus. You need to be relax and calm and give it more than one try first Time wont work 100% but as more you try it wil increase. Sorry for my bad English love The show and go *uck your self

The Zip recruiter add is my favourite part of the podcast

Anyone know what’s bills email?

Laaaadeeee

1:24:26 sounds of hunger

No disrespect, but this strapper is nothing but a d.caruso wannabe...c'mon bro come correct at some point...SMH🤦🏿‍♂️

what do you mean what will you do with the deep fryer? make some fuckin frenchfries or some shit dude!

Boring

Alcohol is a dumb persons idea of finding the truth. Smoke some good herb or take a trip. It’s not as bad as everyone says and it’s pretty revealing about yourself and other around you. It’s a spiritual thing.

Bill's got SHIT to talk about. Weak podcasts for 6+ months

Love you Bill

Wow. Im done wit homie. Pushing the narrative.

@krvnjrcbs lmaoo. True. I just feel its cowardice. And as misleading as Ray Charles being a sightseeing tour guide. When Samuel L . Jackson said he doesn't a damn if he offends Trumps supporters with his comments, called us racist, blah blah, he was asked if he not worried about boycotts he deadass said ' Fuck'em , they already paid and the checks been cashed '. That took me aback. Samuel is/ was one of my favorite actors. I don't even watch movies no more because this. I no longer supporting people who berate me because its tantamount to mental abuse. Paying your tormentors. No bueno mon ami.

@Johnny Mac The facts show you need to be liberal to be successful in showbusiness. And media, which is also a form of showbusiness, is the thing that tells people what is good vs bad. So you have celebrities promoting the left in order to stay good with the media and keep making money, and then you've got the media pushing the left because that's what all the famous people that defend them do. So it's a self-fulfilling snowball of sorts. Unfortunately, by virtue of being showbusiness, that bias is what most regular people see every minute of every day. And people are starting to just believe whatever is told to them instead of using judgement and reason to form their own thoughts/opinions. It's sad really. And sort of funny all of these celebs and media corps are multi millionaires, and somehow have low income people and minorities believing they care, when it's just about the money to them. Pay attention to what they *are*, and not what they _say_ they are. All they are doing is keeping up appearances. To think a rich celebrity gives a fvck about jobs and inner cities any more than a conservative does.. lol Yeah right.

@krvnjrcbs understandable, moreover it just seems that all those we watched, loved , are pushing this. And , justifiably, has me feeling I supported those who would have me executed in the court of public opinion.

@Johnny Mac I just asked for clarity, not to argue you lol. My opinion is the media has everyone's shjtting their pants over nothing.

@krvnjrcbs Modello virus. His opening statement was to make people who don't agree with him or his elk, feel guilty. Why? We , made him rich; now he insults us. You don't shame people for not wearing a seat belt do you?

Give the rest of the turkey to the homeless- or meals on wheels?

bill can you put the sports talk at the end or something I wanna listen to you more but you're losing me on the sports talk

Just Fast forward man lol. There's a slider bar you can move it wherever you want to start listening

Hey Billy Boy. Most people cant just sit at a home and record a podcast for their following to make some money. They gotta go out. Why should people become destitute for a virus that has a 99.99% survival rate.

Exactly. Exactly. Let's shut the entire country down and kill off any small business so that google and amazon daddy megacorps and banks are the only things left so that we are forced to rely the government for everything. Great plan 10/10.

In vino veritas

Dont do it

I've had tinnitus since the military and it gets worse in times of stress but there's no cure and its worse than a dick sandwich.

Said it yourself Billy, you don't need to hear it from a "professional" with a degree to think critically and learn something..

I love you man. Not because we think similar, but because you speak up. I love that. Weird is that I am argentinian, born and live in Argentina... and what you say I thought it at some point in my life. I do not laugh at your work I just freak out about how similar it sounds to me being so distant. Anyways, thanks for your art.

Regarding Tinnitus I’m a bass player and mine was caused by loud music. It got louder about 10 years ago. Anyway I was told 500mg of Magnesium daily will help and that most people have magnesium deficiency. It helped mine get quieter and the magnesium actually relaxes in a bit I highly recommend magnesium..

I think there's a conspiracy to close down the field kicker position haha. I agree with Bill, it's very strange to keep doing the 2 point conversions. I only watched American football for about 2-3 years between 2012-2014 and like 95% of the time, teams went for a field kick when there was a chance. The only times they went for the 2 pt is by the end of the game if they were either losing or they were so much ahead, that it was a slap in the face for the opposite team

I swear I sometimes don't even listen to what he's saying but the sound of his voice comforts me

Bill take some mushrooms or acid. Your wired for it. Just eat it and rant away lol

Bill just microdose

You’re the best 👊

Just buy a deep fried turkey.🤣👍🏿

Alright bill don't shame me for not following mask mandates. I love you but I don't listen to my government... They don't usually have our best interest in mind 👍

What a tool...

Don’t buy a boat. Buy a deep fryer. You’ll want to try frying several times because you’ll just want to do it again after the first time- to figure it out. And you’ll want to do it when you are available, and not depend on your friend. It’s just an oversized kitchen appliance. I mean, imagine all the shit you could deep fry for special occasions.

Dont get a big bird, get one to feed your family and fry away.

Deep fry a turkey while someone from PETA watches. 😂🤣😆

He could literally just give me the intro and it would make my day 😂

5:53 had me hauling :D

Lmfao Original as they come !

Before I say what I want to ask you are my favorite comedian by far Ive loved comedy my whole life im attempting stand up myself I have a gig booked for a 5 minute set as an opener I have watched all the best comedians and your style is my favorite do you have any advise thank you so much.

Get used to the tinnitus .. had it for 20 years

Dude, ive had tinnitus for 6 years..its gotten lower but its still there. Sometimes to sleep i play some "white noise" music to distract me from the constant ringing. A lot of pro musicians have it, it sux bad. Also in regards to your shoulder...PRP is the shit or no needle laser pain management is great, I market one of Calis best known Drs. Let me know if you want his info. Best of luck

In madden h2h I see people down by 10 go for the touchdown on 4th instead of the field goal to get it within a score

Again with the football?... great!

How much you wanna bet that the "Hey! What are you doing?? 😆" was the start of a porn ad? And he immediately tried to convince us that it wasn't by naming the other tabs he had open in his browser.

I almost died laughing when the voice said "hey what are you doing?"

Hey Bill, I don't know if you read the comments, but I am half deaf on my left ear and have severe tinnitus. I'm 29. I am a musician and damaged my hearing with a lifetime of loud music in my headphones, concerts and studios. Regarding tinnitus, there is really no proper cure for it and it's something people need to learn to live with. There is a medication I take that does help a little, it's called Betaserc and basically what it does it balances your inner ear blood pressure and keeps the tiny blood vessels in your ear in good shape. Oxygen pressure rooms help too, especially if the ear damage is fresh. Another way of regulating your tinnitus is basically eating healthy, sleeping well, exercising and avoiding noise. I always wear my earplugs when I know I will encounter a lot of noise (got em custom made) and got used to performing with them. Lately my tinnitus is under control, but there are nights when it just sounds like a jet engine accelerating in my ear and it won't stop for hours. Thankfully, this does not happen too often and I have to keep working hard to maintain my health.

Duck🙌

Lmao he’s talking about joe rogan on the mushrooms and the but da ba da bam!!😂😂

Those "garage people" are most likely Messies. The ultimate proof that adds work and endless consumption, as life's essence, got it's issues.

I just adjust the pressure in my ear.

BILL BURR IS MY PERSONALITY 😂😂😂🤣

The rants on the back end of this are absolute MURDER.

No, never a frozen bird. Thaw it first. The frozen blows up.

28:58 I almost fucking chocked on my cereal lmao

9:40 "It's incredible you guys from all over the world are listening..." haha Yeah I'm a 50 year old Brazilian living in Japan (about 150 miles from those radiation spitting Fukushima nuclear plants) and enjoying your rants for quite a while. Not that I especially love America but for better or worse your culture has been the most influential for the better part of the last century. Hell even American football has been broadcast in my country regularly since the early 1990s (around the time Bills & Jim Kerry getting-to-the-SB-year-in-year-out-but-never-getting-one.)

Oops it's Jim KELLY (Kerry is the dumb dumber guy. My bad.)

@Dr Dreadlift HAHA Small world. I live in Utsunomiya. Sunny Sunday.

Hey man I'm in Tochigi prefecture! From UK

We love you Bill!

You can also use a turkey fryer for shrimp boiling as well.

Duch

Famih Anwar just watched his special he blow my mind... First time knowing anything about him... He not just a genius but a great actor as well a comedian... Don't get jealous U puppet:) Keep on killing it...

You know what really helps with tinnitus? MDMA. It helps a ton. Not much with reducing it but with accepting it and really not letting it bother you. Tinnitus has no cure, but you can get your brain to really just adapt to it.

I've done shrooms a few times. Most of the trips were cool/fun...but it's a dice roll. I had a trip where I kinda freaked the fuck out and it was not fun. Too many things have to "go right" for it to be a good trip.

Sorry Bill, unfortunately there is no cure for tinitus. I use an app with masking sounds for relief..for me the sound of rain is the best...but otherwise I've got to suffer it and it can get really loud.

A little piece of advice defrost your turkey now, soak it in brine for two days and then deep fry it

What are the chances you relapse on cigars and I did on that Copenhagen held out for about 40 days as well LOL

I've been suffering from tinnitus since early October. Fucking torture. I had my ears examined. No nerve damage, perfect hearing. I had my wisdom teeth pulled. Still ringing. Just got an MRI. TBD.

you can get just the turkey breast Hell that's the best part.. you tha man Bill^5

Sounds like he has IIH. no treat for it. Gotta get that checked out you can go blind and or surgery in your brain on one of the main veins.. somthing like that. The wife has it..

Not for nothn.. for as smart as bill is he sure is a fucking sheep. So smart he's stupid

-___-

Screw everyone that says 'ohh you shouldnt have said that' I MISSED YOU BILL BURR

Hey all. You do NOT want to deep fry a frozen turkey. Make sure it's completely thawed.